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You turned me into a slut.” The whole way home Cara didn’t speak to her boyfriend. He pulled into her driveway and Cara got out of the car. “Please don’t call me again! We’re done! Fuck off!” “Cara, call me tomorrow when you’re calm.” “Not until hell freezes. Have a good life.” Cara got out of the car and went into her house. She was very upset. Her parents left a note on the table saying they went out to dinner. They left her money to order a pizza. Cara went straight to the shower and to bed. She was humiliated and mad at her boyfriend. She had no desire to talk to him. She’d make him stew for a while. She went into her pocketbook and looked at all the money she had made. She knew that in the morning she'd go and spend it. She kind of felt dirty, but in another way it excited her. She was very intrigued that the old men made her squirt. She'd never experienced something like that before. She wondered why her boyfriend had never done that to her before. She felt naughty and aroused.. Comic books being one, the coffee next you being another. You think of me after every page. Wishing I could text you. wishing I was free as well. wondering why you aren’t enough to make me leave him. Revisiting our fun times during the day. Sweet sweet memories.You turn off the TV and take your books to your bed. You check the time and your messages. Nothing new from me. You scroll through our previous conversations, glad that you can keep track of our chats now that no one checks your phone. You curl up and dream of the day that I can be there next to you. My tiny hands on your chest and you wrapped around me, protecting me from all the evils of the world. You grab your body pillow and pretend its me.You don’t know half of the atrocities I have been through. But can imagine there are a lot and they are painful because I refuse to talk about them. Your sweet tender happiness turns to melancholy as you tear yourself down, wondering why you are my number two, not my number one. After.
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